Dear Can’t Put It Down, I feel you deep in my bones on this one. You are not alone. If I had a dollar for every night someone scrolled themselves into insomnia, I could retire, buy a little cabin in the woods, and write letters like this the old-fashioned way—with pen, paper, and maybe a sleepy hound at my feet.
Let’s call this what it is: modern life has us all tangled up in our screens. Phones are our connection, entertainment, distraction, and alarm clock all rolled into one glowing rectangle. But here’s the truth, your body wasn’t built to sleep next to a slot machine. And that’s basically what your phone becomes late at night: endless stimulation that hijacks your rest.
But there’s hope, and a heap of it. You can take back your nights, and your peace. It won’t be instant, but it will be worth it. Let’s walk through this together.
First things first, drop the guilt. Your brain is just doing what it was wired to do: seek out novelty, connection, and reward. Phones are designed to keep us engaged. That little ding? That red notification bubble? That never-ending scroll? They trigger the same part of your brain that lights up when you win a jackpot. You are not weak, you’re human, and you’ve got a supercomputer in your hand that’s trained to keep you hooked.
So let’s not beat ourselves up. Let’s just get curious. Ask yourself, What am I looking for on my phone late at night? Is it a distraction? Comfort? Escape? Entertainment? A sense of connection? Knowing what you’re really after can help you find other ways to meet that need.
If your phone is the last thing you see before bed and the first thing you reach for in the morning, it’s time to change the dance.
Start by setting a
and I mean earlier than your bedtime. Aim to cut off screen time 30 to 60 minutes before you want to fall asleep. That might sound like a lot, but trust me, your nervous system needs time to stop buzzing.
Now, replace that scroll-time with something soothing.
Here are a few screen-free ideas:
•Read a physical book (remember those?)
•Take a warm bath
•Do a few gentle stretches or deep breathing exercises
•Journal your thoughts from the day
•Listen to calming music or an audiobook with the screen turned off The key is consistency. Your brain is a creature of habit, and a regular wind-down routine tells it, “Hey, it’s safe now. You can rest.”
I’m going to say something bold here, and you might clutch your pearls, but… it’s time to stop sleeping with your phone.
That phone on your nightstand? It’s a temptation. You wake up at 2 a.m., roll over, and think, “Let me just check the time,” and suddenly you’re knee-deep in an article about alpacas or watching someone make 13 kinds of pasta from scratch.
Tr y this instead:
•Put your phone in another room or at least across the room.
•Use a real alarm clock. They still make those, I promise.
•Turn on “Do Not Disturb” mode to block nonemergency notifications at night. If you're worried about emergencies, set certain contacts to break through in case of true urgent calls. You can still be available for what matters without being available for ever ything.
•Make your phone a little less attractive. Try these tweaks: * Turn your screen to grayscale at night—it makes it less appealing to scroll.
* Remove apps from your home screen or log out of them entirely.
* Set time limits or use app blockers (there are tons of helpful tools out there: like Forest, Freedom, or Screen Time settings on your phone).
This isn’t about punishing yourself; it’s about breaking the automatic habit. The more friction between you and the scroll, the better.
Habits don’t change overnight. You’ll have slip-ups. You’ll sneak a peek some nights. That’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s progress. Celebrate your wins, even if they’re small.
Maybe one night you read five pages of a book before checking Instagram. That’s a win. Maybe you make it three nights without your phone in bed. Huge win. Over time, you’ll start to feel the difference. Your sleep will get deeper. Your mornings will feel less groggy. And your mind? It’ll thank you for the space.
You are not just a slave to the scroll. You are a person with power, and every little step back toward rest and presence is a step toward wholeness.
Now go plug that phone in across the room, light a candle, and give your sweet brain a chance to breathe.
Love, Aunt B
If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@ forneymessenger. com.
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