I am hearing all these new terms, ghosting and gaslighting among others. Boy, do I feel out of touch. Are all of these things new or just new terms for old things? How do I keep up?
Dear Out of Touch,
I get it! It seems like every time you turn around, there’s a new term popping up in conversations, online or otherwise. Ghosting? Gaslighting? Love-bombing? It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin! You’re not alone in feeling out of touch—there’s been an explosion of new words that describe behaviors people have probably been dealing with for ages. How the heck do you keep up with it all?
Most of these terms describe behaviors that have been around forever. They’re just dressed up in new lingo. Let’s look at a couple of the biggest ones: Ghosting is when someone cuts off all communication with you without any warning or explanation. Last week’s question addressed this very thing. One day, you’re texting back and forth, everything seems fine, and the next—poof! They disappear like a ghost.
Back in the day, we might have just called it “dropping out of sight” or “falling off the face of the earth.” Before texting, if someone didn’t return your phone calls, you’d eventually get the hint. What’s different now is how instant communication has become, so when someone suddenly stops responding, it feels more abrupt and jarring. The term might be modern, but the behavior? As old as time.
Gaslighting is when someone manipulates you into doubting your own reality. The term actually comes from a 1938 play called “Gas Light”, where a husband dims the gas lights in their home and then denies it’s happening, making his wife think she’s going crazy.
This is a psychological manipulation trick, and while the name is relatively recent, the tactic itself has been around forever. It’s been used by toxic partners, manipulative bosses, and just plain old bullies.
Love-bombing refers to when someone showers you with an overwhelming amount of attention, affection, and gifts early on in a relationship, but it’s not out of genuine care—it’s a form of manipulation. Once they’ve “hooked” you, their behavior may shift dramatically.
Again, this isn’t new. We’ve always had people who move too fast in relationships, overwhelming their partners with affection. What’s new is the awareness around the toxic side of this behavior, where it’s used as part of a cycle of manipulation and control.
Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you just enough attention to keep you interested, but they’re not fully committing to a relationship. Maybe they text you occasionally, throw in a few compliments, or suggest hanging out, but then they never follow through. It’s like tossing little breadcrumbs to keep you hanging around without offering a real connection.
This behavior has always existed in some form—think of someone leading someone on without intention—but the ease of texting and social media has made breadcrumbing a much more common experience.
FOMO is the anxiety that comes from seeing everyone else doing something fun, cool, or exciting, and worrying that you’re missing out. While the feeling itself—being left out—has always been around, social media has kicked it up a notch because we’re constantly bombarded with images of everyone else living their “best lives.” It’s a modern twist on an ancient feeling of exclusion or envy.
The best way to keep up is to stay curious. If you hear a new term, don’t be afraid to ask someone or Google it! There’s no shame in learning new things, and half the time, people who use these terms only learned them five minutes ago themselves.
Not all of these terms will be relevant to your life. Pick and choose what you want to engage with. You don’t have to know every bit of slang that the kids are throwing around these days. Focus on the terms that might help you in your own relationships or help you understand certain behaviors better.
What feels like a flood of new terms is just part of how society changes and adapts. Remember, terms like “burnout,” “midlife crisis,” and “codependent” were once the new kids on the block too, and now they’re part of everyday conversations or not used at all.
Ghosting, gaslighting, and breadcrumbing are just modern labels for things that have been around for generations. But language is powerful, and having the right words can help us better recognize and address these behaviors. As for keeping up? Just take it one term at a time. Keep a sense of humor about it, stay curious, and remember—you’re doing
just fine!
Love,
Aunt B
If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@ forneymessenger. com.
- Log in or Subscribe to post comments.