I suffer a great deal from anxiety and depression. I’m tired. I have tried therapy, and it didn’t help me at all. Do you have any ideas that might help me?
Dear Tired,
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Dealing with anxiety and depression is like trying to walk through life with an invisible weight dragging you down, and when therapy doesn’t seem to help, it’s easy to feel even more stuck. But there *are* other ways to manage your mental health that don’t just rely on therapy, and we can talk through some options. Always remember to try another and get help from someone if this becomes too much. The suicide hotline number is 1-800-273-8255. There is also a new Lifeline you can call or text at 988. These are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Therapy not working for you doesn’t mean you’ve failed, or that you're impossible to help. Sometimes therapy just isn’t the right fit, or maybe you haven’t found the right therapist yet. In the meantime, here are some other things to explore that might help ease some of what you’re feeling.
How we talk to ourselves can be a huge factor in how we feel. Have you ever caught yourself thinking, 'I can’t handle this' or 'I’ll never feel better'? These kinds of thoughts are sneaky, and they tend to reinforce the anxiety and depression we already feel. Changing your self-talk doesn’t mean you suddenly flip a switch and start thinking only happy thoughts (that’s unrealistic), but it’s about being kinder to yourself in those tough moments.
Start by catching those negative thoughts and gently challenging them. Instead of “I can’t handle this,” try saying, “I’ve handled tough stuff before, and I’ll figure this out.” It sounds simple, but over time it can make a huge difference in how you feel.
Get some movement. The mind follows the body’s lead, and when we start moving— even in small ways— our brains get a little kick of those feel-good chemicals (endorphins). Just a walk around the block, doing some stretches, or even dancing in your living room counts. Giving yourself small doses of relief that can add up over time.
Check in with a healthcare provider to rule out anything physical. Sometimes anxiety and depression can be exacerbated by underlying issues like thyroid problems or vitamin deficiencies.
When you’re feeling low, everything can seem overwhelming, even the smallest tasks. This is where breaking things down into tiny, manageable steps can be a game changer. If getting out of bed feels impossible, focus just on sitting up. Then, maybe getting dressed. It’s not about doing everything perfectly, but just doing *something*.
Depression can make the world feel small and isolated, but finding purpose or even small pockets of connection can help lift that sense of isolation. This doesn’t mean you need to go out and change the world (unless you want to!), but even finding a hobby, volunteering, or engaging with a community can help you feel like you’re part of something bigger. It’s easy to withdraw when you’re feeling low, but connection provides some light in the darkness.
Learning something new, like a language or a craft, can give you a small goal to work toward, which can help lift the heaviness of depression.
Have you thought about trying mindfulness or meditation? When people talk about meditation, it can sound like you’re supposed to sit crosslegged for hours and empty your mind. That’s not it. Mindfulness is more about noticing how you feel, without judgment, and allowing yourself to just *be* in the moment. It can give your mind a little break from the constant swirl of anxious or depressing thoughts. Check out apps like Headspace or Calm, which offer guided meditations, or start with short YouTube videos.
There are also natural supplements that some people swear by, like magnesium and omega-3s. Talk to a healthcare provider before adding any new supplements to make sure they’re safe for you.
I know therapy hasn’t worked so far, but maybe it’s worth giving it another shot—with a twist. Try a different type of therapy, or even a different therapist. Sometimes it takes a couple of tries to find the right person who “gets” you. There are options like group therapy, which can give you the benefit of connection with others who are dealing with similar things.
I know this feels heavy right now, but things can get better. It’s not about flipping a switch and suddenly being happy—it’s about finding ways to manage the weight you’re carrying so it feels a little lighter each day. You’ve already taken the first step by reaching out, and that’s something to be proud of.
Love,
Aunt B
If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@ forneymessenger. com.
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