I am happy, really really happy. I am newly in love. I have to admit that I’m afraid. What if it doesn’t last? What if it is just puppy love? What if they don’t love me? Am I crazy for thinking this could be long-lasting love?
Dear Lovestruck,
First off, congratulations! There's nothing quite like the feeling of new love to make the world seem brighter and your heart feel lighter. It’s like walking on air, isn’t it? Every song on the radio suddenly makes sense, and you catch yourself smiling for no reason at all. I’m thrilled for you, but I get it—love can be as terrifying as it is exhilarating. It's that pesky fear that sometimes creeps in and makes you wonder if it’s all too good to be true. I say, “nothing is too good to be true.”
Let’s break this down a bit, shall we? Love, in all its stages, is a rollercoaster. There are ups and downs, twists and turns, and moments where you feel like you’re upside down. Isn’t that part of the ride? The thrill, the uncertainty, and the potential for something wonderful?
First off, let’s address that fear. It’s completely natural to be afraid when you’re deeply happy. Our brains are hardwired to protect us, so when we find ourselves in a blissful state, a little voice in the back of our heads starts whispering, 'What if it doesn’t last?' The important thing to remember is that fear doesn’t have to dictate your actions or dampen your joy.
Think of it like this: You wouldn’t stop going to the beach because you’re afraid of a storm, right? You enjoy the sun, the waves, and the sand for what they are, knowing full well that the weather can change. Love is similar. Enjoy it for what it is right now, without letting the fear of future storms ruin the sunshine.
Now, about the “puppy love” concern. Puppy love, or the infatuation stage, is characterized by intense, often all-consuming feelings. It’s the phase where everything your partner does is perfect, and you can’t get enough of each other. But here’s a little secret: all lasting relationships go through a puppy love phase. It’s the foundation upon which deeper love is built.
Over time, those wild butterflies in your stomach might settle into a warm, comforting presence. It doesn’t mean the love is any less—it just means it’s evolving. Relationships that stand the test of time are the ones where both partners are willing to grow together. So, instead of worrying if it’s just puppy love, focus on nurturing it and seeing where it takes you.
Ah, the age-old question of unreciprocated love. This one can be a toughie, but it’s crucial to approach it with an open heart and mind. Communication is key. If you’re feeling unsure, have an honest conversation with your partner about your feelings. It doesn’t have to be a heavy, all-or-nothing talk. Simply share your happiness and your fears. Often, the other person might be feeling the same way.
Remember, love is a twoway street. It requires mutual effort, understanding, and commitment. By being open and vulnerable, you’re setting the stage for deeper connection and trust. If your partner is truly invested, they’ll appreciate your honesty and reciprocate with their own feelings.
In short, no, you’re not crazy at all. Every great love story starts with a leap of faith. Sure, there are no guarantees, but that’s what makes love so magical. It’s the willingness to take that leap, to trust and to hope, that creates the possibility of something enduring.
Let me tell you a little about my story. I met someone when I was in my late twenties, after a series of relationships that had gone nowhere. From the moment we met, I felt a spark I’d never experienced before. We laughed, we shared, and we dreamed together. But I, like you, was scared. I wondered if it was too good to be true, if it was just another fling that would fizzle out. I even tried to break it off because it felt too good to be true. However, he had other plans, thank God.
Instead of letting fear take the wheel, I decided to focus on the present. I cherished each moment and communicated openly with my partner. We talked about my fears and worked through them together. Fast forward over 40 years—we are even happier than we were before, with two beautiful kids and a life we built on the foundation of that initial spark. It wasn’t always easy, but our willingness to embrace love despite the fear made all the difference.
Embrace this wonderful feeling with open arms. Enjoy the magic of new love, and let yourself dream about the possibilities. Remember, love is about the journey as much as it is about the destination. Yes, there might be bumps along the way, but those are part of what makes the journey worthwhile.
So, take a deep breath, trust yourself, and dive into this adventure. You’re not crazy for thinking this could be lasting love—you’re hopeful, brave, and open to the beautiful possibilities that lie ahead.
Love,
Aunt B
If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email yourquestion to news@ forneymessenger. com.
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