Dear Aunt B,

I have always wanted to be a songwriter. I have written a few songs but never let anyone see any of them. I was always told that I wouldn’t amount to anything. I am afraid to step out and prove them right. Should I try?

Dear Song Inside Me,

Of course you should try. Write away. Do whatever makes your heart sing.

I am truly sorry that anyone told you that you wouldn’t amount to anything. That is just a lie that frightened people tell others when they are so afraid that they won’t amount to anything or are so wounded that they can’t do better.

Look at you, you have already proved them wrong. Not everyone has the guts to send a letter to a newspaper asking for advice. It takes someone that for sure has amounted to someone.

I want to talk a bit about those words that were told to you, before we go on to the songwriting. When we have heard any words over and over, they can tend to get stuck in our head and we will start to believe them. You know, beliefs are just thoughts we have thought for a long time. So, do your work to let those limiting beliefs go. Those thoughts and beliefs are the true thief. They continue to steal from you every day.

So, “Aunt B, how exactly do you go about doing that?” Start right where you are. Take an inventory of all the limiting beliefs that you tell yourself. I can promise you there are more. Next, decide what you would rather think. An example would be: Limiting belief- “I will never amount to anything”. New thought- “I can do anything I desire.” If that jump into the new thought is too big, back it off a bit. Maybe try: ”I can see that I have accomplished some things.” Now be vigilant. Whenever you notice that you are thinking some version of your old thought, catch yourself and replace it with your new thought. Of course, you will feel uncomfortable at first and feel like you're lying to yourself. Just keep up the work. Watch for small changes, reward yourself (not with chocolate cake, maybe a bubble bath).

I don’t believe that you have to always spend a great deal of time tracing back why you believe this limiting belief. I think your time is better spent writing a new story for your new self. We will talk about some other steps in future Aunt Bs. So stay tuned. Of course, if you need professional help here, please reach out to someone you trust.

Now about this songwriter dream. Why would you not? I am not telling you that you can go out and make a living doing it right now. However, I am not telling you that you can’t. Keep doing what you have to do to support yourself. Also, keep writing. I believe we are all told at some time that our passion must be our livelihood. That is not true. Of course, it is magical when this happens, but it doesn’t always work that way.

About those people that told you that you wouldn’t amount to anything: do your best to forgive them. Wounded people wound others. Keep up the work to put that wound to rest. Write away songbird. I would love to see a sample of your work. Send me something.

Love,

Aunt B

If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@ forneymessenger. com.