Sensitive Me
Dear Sensitive Me, I hear you loud and clear. I have been told I was too sensitive most of my life. Frankly, I have been too sensitive most of my life. I have made large strides in handling myself. Being told you’re “too sensitive” is almost a rite of passage for the tender-hearted among us. And while it might seem like a bit of a sting, let’s unwrap this together and maybe find a way to turn that sensitivity into your superpower.
First off, feeling deeply isn’t a flaw—it’s a feature! It means you have a big, empathetic heart. You may be the one who remembers to send the birthday cards, who notices when someone has changed their hair, and who truly listens when others speak. That’s not just nice; it’s necessary in a world that often buzzes along at “too busy to care” speed. If the truth is that you don't ever notice others and you just always notice how everything affects you then that is a different story. Either way, rather than just toughening yourself up, I believe it might be best to come to some new truths. Have you heard of the book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz? According to this book, the four agreements are:
•Be impeccable with your word
•Don’t take anything personal •Don’t make assumptions
•Always do your best Great book and everyone can benefit from these four agreements. The answer to your issue lies in agreements 2 and 3. Can you imagine a life where you didn’t take everything everyone else does as a personal reflection on yourself? Talk about peace, right? And you know what they say about assumptions? They make an a** out of you and me. If you haven’t ever heard that saying just look at the first part of the word assumptions. I know in my own life I make too many assumptions and often, really often, they just get me in trouble.
But I get it, being sensitive can sometimes feel like you’re walking around with your skin turned inside out, feeling every bump in the emotional road. So, here’s a little Aunt B wisdom to help you navigate those bumpy bits:
•Set Emotional Boundaries: Just because you can feel the weight of the room doesn’t mean you need to carry it. Learn to recognize which feelings are yours to own and which really belong to someone else. Learn new skills to let other people’s feelings pass by like clouds on a windy day.
•Postpone Your Reactivity: Take a moment before responding to emotional stimuli. Take a deep breath. This can be the bridge between your feelings and your actions. Ask yourself, “Why is this bothering me?” Often, understanding the root of your reaction helps in managing it. Ask yourself, “What would I rather feel?’
•Listen to Constructive Feedback: Instead of shying away from criticism, try to see it as a route to personal growth. Not all criticism is created equal; sift the helpful advice from the harsh advice and leave what doesn’t serve you.
•See the Gift in Your Empathy: Your sensitivity likely makes you incredibly empathetic. This is a strength, my dear, especially in relationships and professions where understanding others is key. Own it proudly.
•AS ALWAYS–Practice Self-Care: Sensitivity can be draining. Make sure you’re taking time to recharge your batteries. Whether it’s reading a book, soaking in a tub, or walking in nature, find what soothes your soul and make it a regular part of your day.
Remember, don't let anyone make you feel less for your emotional depth. We need more feelers in this world, just as much as we need the thinkers and doers. Balance is the key, and it sounds like you’re well on your way to finding yours.
Love, Aunt B
If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@ forneymessenger. com.
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