Dear Aunt B,
I am angry a great deal of the time. I get mad about something nearly every day. It is not always something big, but I’m starting to wonder if this is a normal thing. I don’t like to get mad. It just seems like something always happens.
Mad as Heck
Dear Mad as Heck, I don’t know if it is normal to get mad at something every day. I do know that I personally would not like that. My question to you would be, “Why?” Why do you get mad every day? Are you living a life you don’t love? Are you spending time every day with people you don’t enjoy? Do you have a short fuse? Is your language such that any little frustration you label as anger? Do you live with a great deal of stress? Can you identify any personal issues that you have not resolved?
It would be Aunt B’s advice to get some help on this issue. Experiencing anger on a daily basis can significantly impact your life, influencing your relationships, work, and overall well-being. While it's natural and normal to feel angry in response to certain situations, when anger becomes a constant companion, it's a signal that deeper issues may need to be addressed. It is also not healthy to suppress your anger, so I believe this is good that you are recognizing it might be a problem.
Have you tried talking with anyone about this, or have you just thought it was normal? Recognizing the source of your anger can be the first step towards managing it effectively. What types of things trigger you and make you angry? Can you recognize any patterns in the types of things that set you off? Remember, Aunt B is just common sense advice. Do not hesitate to get some outside help here. I have found that unchecked anger will increase.
I would suggest learning some new coping skills. Breathing techniques can be successful in helping you to calm. Exercise is always a good way to blow off some steam. I would take this time to double down on your own self-care.
Is it possible that you need to improve your own communication skills? Miscommunications can cause havoc on your well-being. Some people have had a good deal of success with journaling. Get a notebook and try writing a bit every day. This may help lead you to some understanding of what is really bothering you.
Forgiveness is powerful. Is there someone in your life you need to forgive? I know it is difficult, but holding on to things that have angered you in the past only hurts you. Oftentimes the people are not even still present in your life. Are you angry at yourself over something? I find that when I do experience anger, down deep it is usually me that I am mad at. I do understand it can be very difficult to get over situations where you have been or feel you have been wronged, especially if you have carried it with you for a while. Journaling can help with this as well. Remember forgiving doesn’t mean you have to continue to take bad behavior from anyone or even be in their company (unless it is you that you are angry at, not much escaping yourself). It also doesn’t mean you forget. I’m not sure how anyone would expect you to do that. Just let go of the emotion. It might help to recognize where you are holding the anger in your body. Sounds weird, I know, but I do think we hold those pesky emotions in our bodies. Don’t expect to talk yourself out of stuffed emotions. Get some movement going.
Love, Aunt B
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