Dear Aunt B, I find myself isolating more and more. It’s not that I don’t want to be with people, but I just don’t want to be with people quite as much as I used to. Is this a problem?
More Alone Time Dear More Alone Time, Fine line with this one my dear. As we go through different stages in our life and different ages we need and want a differing amount of alone time. That is completely normal.
All of us have different social needs and those needs change over time. I know, as a young person, I didn’t feel like I needed any alone time. Matter of fact, I didn’t like it at all. Boy that has changed for me. I love alone time now.
There are always reasons why you might want to spend more time alone than you used to. If you have been real social for a while, you just might need to recharge. If you are recovering from something, you may need more alone time. If you have gone through a major change in your life, you may need more alone time. There are a variety of circumstances that can make you spend more time alone. Many are experiencing a “less is more” mindset with more items than just their alone time. You may find that your time with others has more depth and is more meaningful and you just don’t need as much.
We can’t forget Covid. Covid has changed the way most people interact with each other. Most of us got into the habit of spending much more time alone. Many of us liked it and wanted it to continue.
We live such busy lives and pack so much into our lives, it seems completely natural to me that you could need more alone time.
It is wintertime, and often that is a time when we just want to wrap up in a blanket and watch mindless television. I have also noticed how the weather affects me and how much time I want to spend with others.
Do some inner reflection. Ask yourself some questions.
Are you happy and content with the amount of social interaction you currently have?
Do you feel fulfilled? Are you taking good care of yourself?
If your answers are mostly yes, then you're probably just fine. Are you lonely and secretly long for more time with others? Then there is your answer as well. If you're unsure, it can always be helpful to talk to someone – a friend, a family member, or even get professional help. As usual, I will remind you to pick your counsel - whether personal or professional - cautiously. Always want someone who has your best interest at heart and I think someone who is positive and kind.
The most important thing here is to listen to yourself. You know the answer to this question. Trust yourself. Get out more if you need to. Wrap up at home if that is what feels good. Just don’t use alone time to hide from your life. You’ve got this.
Love, Aunt B
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