B Dear Aunt B, How do you find really fun things to do? I am bored and want more in my life. I do have friends but probably need to expand my circle. I heard that you become an average of the 5 people you spend the most time around. Do you believe that is true? If so, me, myself, and I are three of them. Time to break out. Thanks in advance for any help.
Ready for More Dear Ready for More, I will start with the fun things because, I think I might have told you, fun is one of my goals for this year. I have noticed something very interesting once I made a clear decision to have more fun: I have actually had more fun. Things that before I would have said, “Sure, I had a good time” now I am finding myself saying multiple times, “Dang, that was fun. I really had fun.” The interesting thing is I am not just trying to convince myself. I am truly having more fun. I haven’t really sorted this experience out completely. I don’t think I will try to sort it out completely. I believe I will just enjoy the fun. However, I do believe it has a great deal to do with just making the decision to experience more fun. I think you are almost there. You asked for fun things, and then you stated you wanted more in your life. This is a real fine line. I believe that, for years, I have been right where you are - wanting more fun and asking for more. Something changed when I made the decision to have more fun. I know, I know. Sounds kinda like the same, but look for the small differences in these two: wanting and deciding. This is where the gold lies.
What does it mean when we make a decision? By definition, a decision is final. A decision is a judgment and a resolution. Sure sounds stronger than an “I want”, doesn’t it? Take this thinking process a bit more personal though. What decisions have you made in the past? How have they been different from things you just want?
Of course we can all think of decisions we have made that we have fallen short of. That is not where I want you to go with this thinking. Where have you made a decision that you took seriously?
An example might be: “I want to lose weight.” How is, “I have decided to lose weight” different? Are there different behaviors involved in the decision? What about “I want to go back to school” and “I have decided to go back to school”. One more: “I want to go to the movie” and “I am going to the movie tomorrow night”. I bet you are getting the drift of the differences.
In my pursuit of more fun, I had a good friend tell me to find a couple of things that the only goal of completing them was fun. This was difficult for me, and I haven’t mastered it by any means. But it is a very good place to start. The reason it is powerful is that “FUN” is enough of a goal. I don’t think I truly believed that in the past. I found fun in things that met my other goals but felt that pure fun might have not been enough of a result. I am rethinking this. I think she was onto something.
Next week we will discuss the second half of your question. Now, go have a little fun.
Love, Aunt B
If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@ forneymessenger. com.
- Log in or Subscribe to post comments.