Ask Aunt BAunt

B

Dear Aunt B, Here we go again, family coming for the holidays and as always lots of drama. How can I not drink my way through the holidays? I love them, but they can be so much. We of course don’t agree on many, many things. Why do these topics always come up? Help!

HoHoHo

Dear HoHoHo, Do whatever you can to have a great holiday. Drama is never fun for me. So stay out of it, as well as you can. Take a look at how anyone engages you in drama and stop your engagement.

Let the others have their drama. Go out of the room. Go for a walk. Do whatever you can to escape the drama. The problem with drama is that it can be entertaining. It is easy to talk with the others about how crazy the dramatic ones are. Do your best to stay away from this talk, as it doesn’t make anything better. When there is anxiety in the air, it is easy to fall prey to the drama.

It can be helpful to prepare in advance for your time together. What things can you do to keep your energy and mood high? These things are the same we talk about all the time. Get good amounts of sleep. Keep yourself hydrated with lots of clean fresh water. Go for walks and exercise. Eat some healthy foods along with your holiday favorites. Watch your alcohol intake. This time and drama can increase your desire for alcohol, I get that. I am not telling you to not indulge, unless it is a problem for you. Just drink water along with your spirits and keep hydrated. I realize these are mainly physical things and, in some ways, don’t seem connected with drama. You will see that the better you take care of yourself physically, the better you will do mentally.

Plan some fun activities. Does your family play games? I’m personally not a big game player, but I enjoy them during the holidays with my children. There is a game called RISK. My husband and our boys always played it during the holidays. It lasts a long time and is pretty competitive. It’s a war game so it was never for me, but it gets me in the holiday spirit. Even though there was usually some drama surrounding the game. So maybe not the greatest idea. They sure had fun and always looked forward to the big game.

You know the drama your family brings, so I am sure you have your own ideas on ways to handle the drama. Do what you know.

Can you agree as a family not to bring up the topics that you don’t agree on? There are so many different topics of conversation. Why don’t you google some ideas of non-controversial topics that you all can discuss? Movies are often a good idea. There are specific movies that put me into the Christmas mood quickly.

A couple of weeks ago, we talked about traditions. Start some new traditions.

Of course, there are those who just can’t show up without drama. Don’t be surprised by their behavior. Just expect it and protect yourself the best way possible. Make the time with these special ones as short as possible.

Merry Christmas my friends,

Love, Aunt B

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