Dear Aunt B Readers, I promised that we would discuss serious Holiday discomforts this week. Here we go, but remember Aunt B is not a replacement for individual mental or physical health care. Please see a professional if this is a serious problem. Also remember the Suicide Hotline number is 1-800-2738255 or TEXT 988.
The Holiday Blues can include experiencing fatigue, sadness, loneliness, tension, frustration, or a general sense of loss as well as many more feelings.
Some helpful ideas include listening to music. This doesn’t have to be holiday music, of course, whatever music brings your spirits up. Exercise is very effective. Exercise has been shown to be more effective than pharmaceuticals in treating depression. Pay attention to your sleep. Are you getting enough quality zzzzs? Sleep has been recognized has the biggest threat to well-being in this day and age. Most of us are just not getting enough quality sleep. The average person does best with between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each and every night. Eat and drink in moderation. Alcohol is a depressant. It is best to stay away from drinking if you are already depressed. I don’t know about you, but carbs (the unhealthy ones) don’t do anything good for my moods. It could be that I know I shouldn’t eat them and that takes me down a bad road, but I do think they are generally a trigger for depression. This seems counterintuitive because we even call them comfort foods, but I don’t find much comfort after they have found their way into my belly. Watch your spending during the holidays. Don’t buy into the hype of all the gift giving if it really isn’t in your budget.
Ok, more serious now. Dealing with the loss of loved ones can be especially hard at this time of year. I am not saying grief is a harmful emotion. However, people can get stuck in the grieving process, and it is important to move through it in order to be happy. If you find yourself unable to get on the other side of your grief, please get professional help. At the very least, study up and read some books on the topic. What about harmful emotions that come up at this time from childhood or earlier heartbreaks in your life? Emotions that we “stuff” do not go away. It may feel like stuffing feelings is a coping mechanism, but it is not effective. New happenings can trigger the resurfacing of old emotions, and you and others that you love will suffer. The triggering of the old emotions is actually a good thing. Nothing can be released when it remains stuffed. Acknowledging the emotion is the first step. Actually let your yourself feel the emotion, breathe through the feeling, and let it settle down on its own. If you can, let it pass. This means don’t do those things that push feeling down, for instance drink, eat, shop, or any other behavior that you use to stuff feelings. After the intensity has passed, and it will, do something positive, move your body and let the feeling subside. Broken record here, if you can’t safely do this by yourself, reach out and get help.
Isolating yourself is what you may want to do but absolutely one of the worst things to do. Force yourself to get with good friends. Honestly, people do care and want you to feel better.
Do you have unrealistic expectations of the holidays? Don’t demand of yourself to go from someone who hates the holidays to playing Santa.
Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is important. One idea is to make sure you are getting some time outside. I understand it might be cooler, but wrap up and still go outside. Do you suffer from not seeing the sun as much as in the warmer months? I have found that those light lamps really do help. Check them out if you notice that you are more depressed in the winter months. I find even though I like a rainy day now and then, more than one and I really feel more lethargic and a bit down.
Good luck with all this my loves,
Love, Aunt B
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