Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B,

How weird is it that I am preoccupied with the Royals? I am embarrassed to admit it and not sure what it says about me. How do I break this addiction?

The Princess Diaries Dear The Princess Diaries, Oh my sweetheart, it is a little magical to think about royal life. Ok, a little escape as well. I don’t think you are alone with this one. You only have to look at any online newsfeed or modern magazine to see that celebrity gossip rules.

What does it mean? It could be a harmless escape from way more serious stuff. It could be a way you are getting excitement into your life without really living any true excitement. Excitement over others’ lives bothers me more but, again, is very common. So I wouldn’t beat myself up over it. I would take it as a sign that you need a little more personal excitement. Where and how you go about that is up to you.

There is a more serious obsession where you have stopped living your own life to follow celebrities. It actually has a name. It is called Celebrity Worship Syndrome. Are you comparing yourself to the Royals? Do you watch all the celebrities and feel bad about yourself that you don’t have what they have? Are you so preoccupied that you spend your days thinking of them or trying to emulate them? Researchers have actually identified three levels of celebrity worship. These levels might help you determine how serious your issue is. The first level is just for entertainment. The second level is more intense and more personal. In this level, you have more intense feelings about the individual and the thoughts feel more compulsive. The third level is considered borderline pathological. In this level, you might have uncontrollable behaviors and fantasies concerning the celebrity. You may actually see them as a part of your life. Do you consider yourself as part of their life and see the two of you hanging out together in reality? If you see yourself in this third level, please reach out to a professional.

If your problem is not as severe, there are a few steps you might take to understand it and get it under control. First, identify what is so appealing to you. Are there perceived qualities in the celebrities that you admire? You noticed I said perceived qualities. It can help to remember what we see on the screen and on the news is really not reality, but the information can help you decide if there is a characteristic you would like more of in your own life. Celebrity obsessions can be used as a sort of companionship. Are you lonely and using this behavior to fill a need that would be better served with real people in your life? What might you do to build some new friendships or reconnect with some old friends? Are you using this obsession as an escape? It can easily fill this need, however what you might be trying to escape won’t go away. What might you do to handle the situation ahead of you instead of escaping it?

Consider and monitor how much time you spend online. Speaking of online, there are so many opportunities to expand your information and education online. Consider trading some of the time you spend thinking of the Royals and learn a new skill. I guess my main answer here is do things that make your own life more interesting. Study your own self. Grow your own self. Bring more excitement in your own real life. Crowd out your time with the Royals by filling your own reality. I promise it is way more fun to live life than to watch others live theirs.

Love, Aunt B

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