Ask Aunt B

B Dear Aunt B, I have a problem getting along with my spouse’s friends. I don’t think they like me, and I have no idea why. Is there an easy way to find out, or should I just let it go?

Confused

Dear Confused, Not getting along with your significant other’s special people can definitely be a problem. I especially understand your confusion if you have no idea why. Have you asked your spouse if they know why? I believe that would be the first place to start.

Do you believe that any of the following questions apply to you?

Do you have this issue in other areas of your life?

Can you be too controlling?

Are you always negative and bringing up problems?

Do you have any annoying behaviors that you are aware of?

Do you blame others for everything that happens?

Do you take credit for everything good that happens?

Are you anxious and make others nervous?

Are you successful and they are possibly jealous?

Do they have preconceptions about you that are not true?

Do you talk negatively about your spouse or are you mean to your spouse?

Are you judgmental? Are you trying too hard? Do you talk too much? Have you checked your personal hygiene?

Do you gossip about others?

Do you not respect other’s time or talents?

Do you make everything an issue and are overly dramatic?

Could you be wrong?

Is there a possibility that they do like you?

Could you be interpreting their behavior incorrectly?

We all want people to love or at least like us. I am always a little leery of the ones that say that they really don’t care, but whatever. The truth is there will never be a time when everyone likes us, and the time is now to stop trying to make that happen or worrying about it.

Spend your time with and caring about the ones that are important to you. Stop trying to prove yourself to people. Be true to yourself. These are all sayings that we all know to be true but have a difficult time really accepting. If there are things about yourself or your personality that you don’t like (YOU don’t like), then work at changing those.

I know I want to spend time with those I love and those that love me. My wish is the same for you.

Love, Aunt B

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