Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B,

I just know I’m not satisfied. I don’t even know what I want. I really just want to have fun.

Girls just want to have fun, Boys too

Dear Girls just want to have fun, Boys too,

Ok so you don’t know what you want. So, what is missing?

Do you know why you want this elusive something? We all want something. We want to get better grades, win a game, make money, get laid, get promoted, etc. Some people achieve their goals by hard work while others simply need help. If you don’t know what you want, you won’t be able to reach your goal. Knowing what you want helps you decide how to go about achieving your goal. Sometimes people feel that they just can’t think straight, and they get stuck trying to figure out what they want. This isn’t true. Just follow your instincts, listen to your inner voice, and you’ll find what you want. If you can’t answer that question then just write down what you do like. That might help you get closer to knowing what you truly want.

Do you know who you must become to get what you want? To get something you want, you must first become someone else! This is behaving with an end in mind. What do I mean by this? If you want to change a behavior, you need to learn to be like the person who doesn’t experience the behavior you are trying to change. That means that you need to adopt the beliefs, values, and attitudes that he/she possesses. When you do this, you will find yourself behaving in ways that will benefit you. To make this happen, you need to ask yourself: What would I believe, value, and desire? You must then live out those behaviors. In this case, if you want to change your body, you need to not think like a couch potato. They sit in front of TVs and computers playing games, surfing the internet, talking on cell phones, etc. If you want to lose weight, you must stop thinking and acting like that. What do you see people eating? They eat chips, burgers, fries, candy bars, soda, etc. You need to not eat those things. What do you hear people talking about? Do they talk about having no control over their life or not being able to change behaviors? You need to not talk about those things. If you want to lose weight, you must start acting like you are already thin. You will want to do the things you will do when you have reached your goals.

Do you need additional resources to get what you want? Getting what you want requires effort, knowledge, persistence, and sometimes luck. If you think about something and try to achieve it, then you’re more likely to succeed. However, there are many things that people don’t know how to do. They haven’t yet learned how to get what they want. This can happen when people have limited knowledge, skills, or resources. So the answer is yes. You need to learn how to use those re sources effectively.

Basically find someone in your life or that you can study via books or tapes (there I go showing my age again, do you even know what tapes are?) that is doing, not just talking, about whatever you have decided you want and do what they are doing. No need to reinvent the wheel here. We have talked so much about all the resources that are now available to us. Grab some and get started.

Start with identifying as much as you can where you are currently. This will come in handy when you are in the process. It will be nice when you are in the middle and feel like you have made no progress. You can clearly see the progress you have made. It will be nice to allow yourself the inner praise that feels so good throughout the complete process.

How will you know when it is complete? This is almost as important as knowing what you want. If you can’t define what will be in existence when you achieve this goal, you won’t know when you get there and if you are successful. Remember nothing is really ever complete. We are always in the middle of changing things up and then maintaining our new behaviors. This makes my final point the most important. Enjoy the process. If you are not enjoying what you are attempting, I believe the end result will not be as sweet. Oh, yes I did say there is never an end. Sorry.

Love, Aunt B

Aunt B

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