Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B,

I have an opportunity for a new job. It looks like it could be a better position. I like my job and don’t know how to make the decision if the job is offered to me. How do I decide between two jobs?

New Opportunity

Dear New Opportunity,

What a fabulous place to be. New opportunities are an invitation to get clear about what you desire. Get clear of your values and look at this opportunity as a way to be better in line with what you value.

Get clear on your current job. What are your job duties? What are your benefits? What do you love about your current job? What are your least favorite components to your current job? It is much easier to compare jobs if you know what you are comparing.

Do the old Benjamin Franklin close. Take out a new pristine piece of paper. At the top of the sheet write “New Opportunity”. Divide the sheet down the middle. On one side write at the top “PROS” and on the other side “CONS. Put the paper away for a little. Do some exercise, meditate, and pray. Don’t continue with the Ben Franklin close until you get yourself in a good place. Change your mindset from worry and angst about needing to make a decision to empowerment. It can be normal to get yourself worked up when making decisions. Your best outcome will come from a place of relaxation rather than this place of worry. Get another blank sheet of paper and just write everything that comes to your mind about this change. At this time don’t worry if it is positive or negative. Just write and write some more. Write everything that comes to your mind. Once you have exhausted everything you are thinking on the paper, start dividing and placing items on the pro and con sheet. This should get you more clear.

With change a possibility, limiting beliefs can surface. Some possible limited beliefs to watch out for include the following:

Doesn’t really matter what I decide, it won’t be easy to decide. Who says? Leave open the possibility that the decision is clear.

I will probably pick the wrong one. Your decision is not even the most important factor here. If you decide to stay and then spend your time wishing you had taken the other position, then it is not your decision but what you do after the decision that matters.

Everything has good and bad. Of course, but not really a factor. There will be a clear winner if you pay attention.

No need to change. Change will happen anyway. Your old job will change over time as well.

New things scare me. Maybe, but maybe what feels like fear is just excitement.

Nothing really changes. Oh yes, everything always changes.

I am sure any good will be outweighed by bad. This is just a belief to get you off track from making a decision.

Things don’t really work out for me. Really, think this one out. There are multiple things in your life that have worked out very well for you. In fact one of them is that you have two different companies wanting to hire you. You have options.

Not safe to make changes. See a couple of the previous responses, things will always change. It is unsafe to believe you won’t need to make adjustments no matter what you decide.

Even if I don’t love everything, at least I know what this job entails. This is the old and is just fear.

I don’t like change. See above, change is everywhere.

What if I can’t do the new job? Of course you can do the job. If you need new skills, dig down and get new skills.

What if my friends at work won’t like me if I leave? Then they were not friends to begin with.

How can you replace these limiting beliefs? Rehearse new beliefs. When limiting beliefs surface, challenge your thinking. Repeat that process over and over. Re member a belief is just something you have thought over and over. A few examples of beliefs to choose instead include:

Things are always working out for me.

I make good decisions.

I am safe.

I get to choose.

I listen to my gut.

I know what is right for me.

There are good things at both positions. I get to choose the position that fits me best.

No one is bad here.

All is well.

I love choices.

I am powerful and strong.

I am smart and make changes easily.

Oh, I hear you. “Aunt B, those are not true. I do not believe those positive things.” And I would say to you, now is your time. You get to believe what you choose. Just because you have held limiting beliefs in the past and even for a very long time, you are not tied to those beliefs. Up root those negative limiting beliefs and exchange them for new empowering beliefs. Yes, it takes some time and some energy but it is so worth it. You are strong. You are good. You can do great things. I believe in you.

Love,

Aunt B

If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@forneymessenger. com.