Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B Readers,

Welcome to Love Week. How did you spend your Valentine’s Day? Did you celebrate with your significant other? Did you mourn your lack of significant other? Did you just forget about it? (Too much to do about all this, just to make money for someone). Killjoy.

How you celebrated this holiday, if you want to call it that, can tell you a lot about yourself and what’s going on in your life. Let’s break it down.

Love Relationship

Do you have one? If the answer is no, do you want one? If not, why? If yes, why don’t you have one? TOO COMPLICATED

What makes it too complicated? Can you imagine a relationship that isn’t complicated? What would a relationship that wasn’t complicated look like?

TOO MUCH WORK

What makes it too much work? Can you imagine a relationship that isn’t too much work? What would a relationship that isn’t too much work look like?

TOO MUCH DRAMA

What makes it too much drama? Can you imagine a relationship that isn’t too much drama? What would a relationship that isn’t too much drama look like?

Do you see a pattern here?

NO GOOD ONES LEFT

This is the craziest comment I have ever heard. I promise they are out there. It could take some work to find them, but they are definitely out there. Start this process by making a list of everything you would want in a relationship. Yes, I mean everything. Am I trying to insinuate that you can get everything you want? Kinda, but you are not a baby. You can make some compromises if you like. I do know you won’t come close to finding what you want if you don’t even know what you want. So, start your list. While you are along the way of figuring out exactly what you want, ask yourself if you are a match to this person. Start here. Become a match to what you want. Tell everyone in your life that you are ready for that great relationship. Watch for what shows up.

If you have one, are you happy with the relationship?

YES, IT COULDN’T BE BETTER. Good for you. I understand this, I love my relationship. I also want to keep growing in my relationship. One of my favorite topics to study and talk about. Call me boring, Aunt B loves her some great relationships. OK, now that sounded corny, didn’t it?

IT’S OK, NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT, NOTHING TO BRAG ABOUT. Do something now. What could you do for your relationship that would give you bragging rights? Re-engage with your partner. Talk more, celebrate more, do more. Start with a list of everything you appreciate about your partner and your relationship. Work at adding more to your list.

NO, IT’S MISERABLE. Oh, baby, what do you need to do to improve your life? None of us should be miserable. I am not giving you advice to do something drastic here. You are the only one to listen to for that kind of advice. If you are unsafe, then do something drastic, now. As long as you are safe, and I mean physically and emotionally, then start with yourself. What would you like to change about yourself? Become the person you need to be. It will surprise you how much will change when you take responsibility for you. Then move forward.

My wish for all of you is BIG LOVE.

Love,

Aunt B

If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@forneymessenger.com.