Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B,

Woohoo, I am about to get my tax refund! I have had some really good plans for it but now I just want to go shopping. It is my favorite time of the year and I usually blow it all. I really, really don’t want to do that this year. Any ideas?

Rich for a day

Dear Rich for a day,

Be strong, wise one. You know this is the time to be strong. It kinda feels like free money, but it is not. Do you remember what you did with that same money last year? Probably not. If you are lucky enough to have saved that money, doesn’t it feel nice to know that you still have the money? If you spent that money on something important didn’t it feel nice to have had the money that you needed when you needed it?

There is hardly any interest being paid by the banks, right? So what is the motivation for saving? Saving is not just about the interest you can earn. Saving is also about having a cushion for a rainy day if you need it. Saving is also about starting a fund and building it where you can invest in other opportunities.

The real question here is, can you postpone gratification?

There was an interesting experiment back in the 70’s at Stanford University. Researchers had a group of children and placed a treat in front of them. They were told that if they waited a short period of time and didn’t eat the first treat they would also be given a second treat. It was noted that the children that were able to not eat the treat in anticipation of receiving the second treat had some advantages later on in life. These advantages included performing better academically in school, fewer behavioral problems and higher SAT scores.

Doesn’t this make sense? If a child can delay eating the treat in hopes of a second treat, then it makes sense that one can study instead of playing for some time to get the reward of better grades. Possibly a simple explanation but interesting.

What does this mean to you? There are some tactics that can assist us in delaying the gratification of spending that tax refund. One strategy might be to make an agreement to wait at least one month or more and then to revisit the possibility of just going silly crazy with the money. Once the money is out of your hands and sight for a short amount of time some of the lure of spending it might pass. You also might be so proud of yourself about not just blowing the money that you want to wait even longer.

I believe the best activity for you to practice is to examine what mindless shopping does for you. Does it calm your anxiety? If so, try doing some meditation or relaxation exercises. Does it entertain you? What might be a healthier way to entertain yourself? Possibly learning a new skill. Are you using it to lift your mood? Check out healthier mood regulating activities. Talking with a friend and taking a walk are both good options. Beginning an exercise plan is always the best option (as long as you have the approval of your doctor) at lifting your mood.

Good luck with this. It is a lofty goal. Increasing your ability to delay gratification has far reaching benefits.

Love,

Aunt B

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