Wintarmanoth is Coming

Once upon a time, pre-713 BC to be almost but not quite exact, there were 10 months and 304 days in a year, starting with March. And, we’re talking Roman calendars, by the way, lest you were thinking Julian calendars or Gregorian calendars or something along those lines. No one is entirely sure how we picked up January and February. I mean, yes, there’s a legend about a king named Numa Pompilius who added the extra months, but given that he’s basically a mythical person, who may or may not (based on whether he was even real or not) have been the successor of Romulus, that’s pretty much a huge question mark. Or, maybe you fall into the opposing camp of historians who credit the additional days to Decemvirs, a 10 man commission of Roman law writers, around 450 BC. Regardless, it does seem to have originated in the Northern Hemisphere, since January was first called a variety of things by a variety of people. The Saxons said Wulfmomath, or Wolf Month, since the January full moon is known as the Wolf Moon. The court of Charlemagne used the term Wintarmanoth – meaning cold month. The Finnish say tammikuu, or heart of winter. Since January (the actual word derives from Roman mythology’s Janus, the god of beginnings and transitions) is the coldest month of the year, if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s safe to say all the names originated there. But, as necessity breeds invention, so was January born mainly from a war, the Lusitanian War of 153 BC, perhaps. See, Chief Punicus, of the Lusitanians, defeated some Roman governors and killed all their troops. The Romans demanded an investigation, as Romans do, and immediately sent the 153 BC version of the Red Cross to Hispania to deliver aid. Then, they decided to make some better rules, again, as Romans do. They needed them to go into effect immediately. But, it was 2.5 months before the day new rules went into place (cause, March). So, the Romans flipped the script on the calendar and added January and February. Presto, abracadabra, a la peanut butter sandwiches, and there were new months and new laws and a big Roman mulligan for Hispania.

Wasting zero time on their Roman laurels, January was given many commemorative events. The Roman festival of Cervulus (popularized by medieval Christians who called it feast of the bad word for derriere day) is celebrated in January. While the Romans did their best to Christianize this holiday, it originated as a pagan ritual where a pregnant woman was led through a village on a donkey while the churchgoers lined the path to bray like said donkey, shouting hee-haw. This nifty holiday fell out of favor in the 1500s and was replaced by the Feast of Fools, thought to be nothing more than a good fun poke at the hee-hawing ancestors. Then there was the religious observance of Agonalia, also from ancient Rome. This event included the offering of a ram to the guardian gods of statues. Head scratcher. Let’s not forget the 2-day festival of Carmentalia, the Roman goddess of Carmenta, aka Carmen, the mother of Evander of Pallene (who was credited with the early Greek pantheon and alphabet). Newly created January went from zero to hero in a flash.

Of course, the United States, with our Americanized holidays and our “quick to commemorate” nature, wasted no time in bestowing January with all kinds of days. We gave January a gemstone (garnet), a flower (Carnation), a zodiac sign (Capricorn or Aquarius, if you bought into that disastrous zodiac sign redo a few years back), and too many observances to count. We give hoorays for: National Mentoring Month, National Healthy Weight Awareness Month, Human Trafficking Prevention Month, National Soup Month, National Oatmeal Month, & California Dried Plum Digestive Health Month, to name a few. And, oh the special January days are many. Thankfully, we have Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. We also have National Seed Swap Day, World Leprosy Day, and Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day. Joan of Arc and Paul Revere were born in January, as were David Bowie, Elvis Presley, and Alexander Hamilton. There are some big January shoes to fill, it seems.

But, for me, January means forgiveness. It gets cold. We hunker down. We buy all of the chili fixings and the firewood until there’s nothing left. We burrow under blankets. We think of winters past and the year that flew by more quickly than the one before. We wonder, what’s life all about, anyway? I don my warmest socks and drink way too much coffee as I wonder what will come to pass in the new year. I think about my many mistakes and try to be thankful for the few bright spots in this world. Will this be the year, I wonder? Will I finally write the book? Will I pick up a new hobby? Will I exceed my reading goals? Will I finally learn the piano? But, more than anything, I tell myself that it’s ok. January is for resting. The chaos of the holidays is over. Well done, I say to my inner child. You made it another year. No one has ever made it through a year as well as you have made it through this one, my dear. At least you didn’t have to ride a donkey through town while everyone screamed heehaw at you. There is always something to be thankful for.