Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B,

Do you think it is important to have a date night with your husband or wife? We have been only married a short time and it still feels like every night is a date night. A friend of ours said that it is still important. What do you think?

Every night is a date night

Dear Every Night is a Date Night,

First of all congratulations on your marriage. Second congratulations on still feeling like every night is a date night. Both of these are milestones in today’s world. I was recently talking to a newlywed and they were explaining to me that they just need some alone time or time with the girls and their new husband doesn’t understand why. These are discussions that need to happen way before the marriage but that is another story.

Yes, I think it is important to have a date night. It is a very important habit to instill early on in your marriage. Those of you readers that have been married a long time, it is never too late to start. It is just important to celebrate things. In these busy times, our relationships can be the first of the things we put on the back burner. This is a mistake. It is those very relationships that should remain our priorities.

This date night does not have to be weekly even though I think that is a good idea. It just needs to be special. Special doesn’t mean expensive; it means memorable. What might you do together that you will continue to talk about even over the long years of your marriage? You are planning on long years of marriage, right?

I have a mentor that makes it a ritual to have a very special date night once a month. Knowing him I am sure it is knock it out of the park special. I have another mentor that insists on weekly date nights and has had them for over 25 years. Whatever you do, make it consistent - not just when you think about it. When you think about it very seldom happens.

Over the years, my husband and I took turns coming up with the ideas for the night. That was fun and included a little competition into the mix.

Full disclosure, this is a habit that my husband and I have let drift away. We, like you do try to make all of our time special and enjoy spending time together more that time apart. However a true planned date night has not happened in awhile. I am taking your question as a wake up call and we will implement this into our weekly schedule starting this week. I had better start thinking of a good idea now. I want to give him something difficult to top even though I know he is up to the challenge.

I think Fall is a great time to start because the weather can be so delightful. Some ideas include a small meal packed and eaten in the park. A movie is always a good plan. Going out to dinner at your favorite restaurant is not bad. Dinner in your own backyard under the stars is fun. Of course there’s always going to a hotel if that is possible. A concert or trip to our very own Dallas Arboretum is excellent.

Whatever you plan, have fun. This is not a time to attack a problem that you are having or to discuss the children. Make this time so enjoyable that you anticipate the next one.

Have fun lovers.

Love,

Aunt B

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