Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B,

How do you address a teacher that you don’t believe is doing right by your child without alienating them more and causing them to treat your child worse?

My Child is my Life

Dear My Child is My life,

This is delicate. I know most teachers are fabulous beings that have dedicated their lives to our children and to making the world a better place. However, like all professions there are a few bad apples.

That being said, I have seen parents that are just ridiculous in defending bad behavior by their children. These parents do so much harm not only to their child but to the whole education system. They are also the problem for those of us that have legitimate complaints because it can look like we are trying to do the same.

Begin by gathering as much information as you can. Ask for specifics from your child. Is your child prone to complaining or is this new behavior? Once you have all your information, it is my opinion to meet with the teacher. Each school may have a different policy for this situation so be sure to check your schools out and follow the protocol.

As with any difficult conversation, start with something positive. Once you have exchanged some pleasantries, explain the issue. Explain how you and your child are feeling. Seek to understand the happenings and try to give up the need to be completely right. There is often much more going on than it seems on the surface. Stay focused on the problem at hand. Give the specifics and listen to the teacher’s response. Repeat back their response even if you don’t agree, just to make sure you are hearing what she is saying. Remember you both have a common goal, your child.

Prepare some questions before your meeting. Have some idea of a plan for improvement and adjust the plan with the teacher’s input as well.

I find it is best to address these issues pretty quickly. Once the behavior has gone on for a while the answers don’t come so easily.

Hopefully, the meeting will clear up everything and the school year will go fabulously.

If not, go to the next person in command. Have a similar meeting. If this turns out to be a real problem don’t stop. Good teachers don’t want this behavior from their own any more than you do.

Don’t stop with my advice. Ask mothers that you respect and have had more experience than you. They are the best source of advice. Be sure and ask this advice from parents of children that have good behavior. They are doing something right.

Love,

Aunt B

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