Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B Readers,

Last week we answered the great question: “What is the number one thing I need to do to change my life?” The answer……..”Decide how you want to change your life”. Decide what you really want out of life. You can never get to a new specific destination unless you know where that new destination is.

Hopefully, you have a beginning list of what you want. I say beginning list because it always changes. Just start with what you want right now.

Once you have your list, break it down into categories. There are a plethora of ideas on how to break it down but let’s just start simple. The four basic categories I would suggest starting are Personal, Relationships, Professional, and Financial. Now divide your wants into these or any you choose categories.

Once divided depending on the size of your list, it could be a good idea to rate the items. This can be overwhelming and that can often shut you down from the process altogether.

Pick one item from each category. Give yourself a numerical rating from one to ten of where you are today. Zero being a complete mess and ten being top of the game. If you have never rated using the 0-10 scale it can seem weird because we second guess ourselves so much. Just go with the first number that pops into your head. This is not an exact science. Once you have your starting number, identify what it would take (what would be happening in your life) if this rating was respectable. Spend a good amount of time on this. As specific as you can get increases your possibility for success. A good way to determine this is to look at people that you feel are successful on this topic and identify the factors that you feel make them successful.

Next step is to identify why you want this in your life. Dig deep on this. The more reasons you can identify why this is important the more inspired you will be.

What habits do you need to build? What new information do you need? What skills do you need to develop? What new people do you need to bring into your life?

Let’s start with an example. Say you are not happy with your weight and your weight is something that you have identified needs to change to become who you want to be. Weight would fall in the Personal category and you rated it has the number one item in your personal category.

The rating you have assigned to your current performance on this issue is 5/10. Some examples of this rating would be: you make some good decisions concerning your diet, you know the best way to eat for your body; you drink a lot of water; you have already started an exercise program. Remember this is very subjective.

Examples of your why could contain: to feel better; to look better; to play with your children; to live longer; and to have more energy.

Find your person. The one you want to model to become more of who you want to be. Be careful here. Personally I would like my person to be Jennifer Aniston but I’m afraid that would just set me up for failure at this time. What habits does your person have that would help you to get closer to your goal?

We have discussed habits in the past. A great way to build a new habit is to layer it upon an already existing habit. So say your new habit is to drink more water. Pick something you do all day and add water drinking to that habit. Once that habit gets solid add more. Then just keep going, adding habits to increase your success.

I am feeling that we are making this very important topic too simple. If you want us to dig deeper into making your best life, let me know. We all deserve to live the life of our dreams.

Love, Aunt B

If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@forneymessenger.com.