Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B,

I am in need of a little advice. What is the number one thing I can do to change my life?

Want a New Me

Dear Want a New a Me,

Why just one thing? Are you asking me where do you start? If that is truly what you want, then the first thing you need to do is without a doubt, decide who you want to be.

As clear as you can get from where you are right now, what do you want? The reason I state “from where you are right now” is because who you want to be is and always will be changing.

Get clear, crystal clear on what you want. Aunt B, are you telling me to decide what I really want and who I want to be? Are you saying that is all I need to do? Oh no, Aunt B is not telling you that is all you need to do. Remember you ask me the number one thing you need to do.

However, I will say this is the first thing and probably the most important thing you need to do.

I find it so very interesting that people don’t really know what they actually want. I understand why we don’t spend time on this first step. One reason is that it takes a lot of work and focus. Oh much easier is to just be disappointed and not happy with what all is going on. It is much easier to blame circumstances and other people for your unhappiness. How has it been working for you?

Another reason this is difficult is because we have been told and continue to tell ourselves that it is selfish to really spend time and energy asking for what we really want. We are supposed to focus on others, not ourselves. Truth be told, if you are not happy, which is the only person you can make happy, then there is little you can do to help others be happy. So yes it falls back to you taking care of you.

We have talked about this before but it is such an important question that we (including me) always need to revisit this very important topic. This is an issue that we should revisit often. You are never too old or too young to check in with yourself and make the necessary changes to be happy.

How do you get clear? Start writing down everything you even think you want. You can always take things away. When you try to limit your lists at the first you will leave off things that are very important in the long run. Have you ever heard of the technique called Brainstorming? I think this would be a great place to start. Just start writing down everything that comes into your mind. Even dumbbell things that come into your mind. Do this process a few times. I had a friend that one time wrote over ten pages of things she wanted. I thought this was great. Go for ten pages. Remember we are not babies. If we don’t get everything we will survive. I have found that you don’t get 100% of the things you don’t ask for. So, start here. Make your list and make it large. Next week we will take the next step into the new you. Stay tuned.

Love,

Aunt B

If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@forneymessenger.com.