Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B,

I want to be in love. I don’t understand why everyone seems to have someone except me. Is it me? What am I doing wrong? Are all the good ones taken?

Sick for Love

Dear Sick for Love,

What do you want? Do you really know what you want in a mate? This is your first step. I am not talking about what you will settle for. Go for the gold. If you had exactly the right person, what characteristics would they have. Spend some time on these questions. The answers will be very important to the outcome of your search. Be specific. Write the specifics down on paper. Keep adding to your list of what you want. This is not a one and done exercise.

After you get a pretty good idea of what you are looking for, are you a match to this person you are looking for? What do you need to change in yourself to be the perfect match to your ideal mate? This is where your work begins. Start the process of becoming the perfect match to your ideal mate.

Just to be clear, it is not a good idea to look for someone to complete you. That sounds very romantic and all, however it really doesn’t hold up. The best relationships I have witnessed are comprised of two whole people that have found each other.

Once you have done the work of identifying your wants and becoming a match to them, that person will show up in your life. Sounds magical right, but that is really how it works. UNLESS…..

Unless you have convinced yourself that they don’t exist. Unless you have convinced yourself that there is no one out there for you. Unless you have convinced yourself that this is all a bunch of crazy. So while you are preparing for your new mate, it would probably be a great idea to work on your limiting beliefs.

Jon and Missy Butcher in their LifeBook program, identify four questions that could help you:

What do you believe? What do you want? Why do you want it? And What are you going to do to get it?

When identifying your beliefs, remember beliefs aren’t all true. Beliefs are simply things that we have thought long enough that they seem true. Beliefs can all be changed. I think it is a good idea, when identifying your beliefs, to make three columns. Under one column list the beliefs you currently hold. The second column lists the limiting beliefs that you choose to disengage with. The third column list the beliefs you now choose to believe.

We will talk more next week on the steps to wire in your new beliefs.

Love,

Aunt B

If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@forneymessenger.com.