Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B Readers,

So we are continuing a series of fundamentals to take care of your health, bodies, and mind. Fundamentals are those basic activities that help us build our best life.

Last week we discussed the fundamentals of social connection. Never before this past year have we truly understood the power and importance of social connection. If you are lacking in this area look back on last week’s article to get some tips.

Today we are going to talk about mastering your mind. I’m sure that I have mentioned before that I don’t believe that our mind is our best friend. Our mind is something that we must master or it will master us. I don’t mean that in a good way. I believe that we all have experienced our mind when it runs amuck. The negative self talk is so toxic that it can be overwhelming and difficult to overcome. However, overcome we can. Negative self talk is not the only way our mind can betray us. Have you ever had a perfectly good idea and before you even get started on the idea, your mind walks you through everything that can go wrong, so you never begin? Anytime your mind focuses on something that you don’t desire, your mind is working against you. The faster you can release the negative thoughts and turn to positive thoughts about anything (does not have to be about the same issue) the better off you will be. You may ask,” Aunt B, are you telling me to think only about good things?” My answer would be yes, if you can do that. Answers to problems do not come into your mind when you are focusing on the problem. Answers come into your mind when you focus on solutions. These are two very different things. Problems come out of a weak mind. Solutions come out of a strong mind. I don’t know about you but give me solutions any day all day long.

Breathwork is important in this work. When you recognize your negative thoughts, acknowledge the thought, call it out as the lie that it is, and let it go with a good breath.

Ruminating over past mistakes is another easy trap. As soon as you realize what you are doing, acknowledge the mistake, forgive yourself, look for the lesson in the mistake, and with a good breath, let it go. Sounds easy, right? I know it isn’t easy, but it can be done. You may have to repeat the process many times but, what the heck, you are repeating the negative process many times anyway. Just change the repetition to something that helps you instead of something that hinders you.

Gratitude and a gratitude practice is one of the fastest ways to overcome negative thinking. Gratitude is life changing. Developing a gratitude practice can be anything. One simple exercise I have done is to go through the alphabet and for each letter think of something I am thankful for. I have to get pretty creative for those last few letters(XYZ). An other example is to begin your day with 3-10 things you are thankful for before you even get out of bed. The important issue is to do it every day and as many times as possible. The more things you look for to be grateful, the more things that will come into your life to be grateful for.

All of this mind work takes time and repetition. Stay tuned in for more fundamentals.

Love,

Aunt B

If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@forneymessenger.com.