Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B,

I seem to have no control over my emotions. I can be in a good mood and everything seems fine one moment and then something happens and I am a mess.

Feel like a baby

Dear Feel like a baby,

Always remember, this is an advice column. If you have a serious problem, seek professional help. That being said, we all experience this on some level and at some time.

Things people say, the tone of their voice, smells, music, and many other things can trigger us. When we get triggered, we tend to go back to an emotion that we have experienced in the past. There are times when it is easy to make the connection to a previous hurt but not always.

It is a good thing to work through past hurts. Emotional hurts often need more than just talking about them to work through them. Some feel and I usually agree that only talking about past hurts does little to release the emotional pain.

Breath is really important in this work. Getting still and asking yourself some questions can begin the process. Listen for new information. You might ask yourself if the emotional pain is trying to tell you something. Sounds kinda strange, I know, but our bodies do hold much information. I then believe movement is important. Go for a walk or do some exercise and move the emotion out of your body.

Remember, this is just “advice”. If your emotional pain is too much, please seek professional help. There is no shame in getting help. I believe it is a sign of strength to want to grow and get the help you need.

Getting out in nature is extremely healing. Taking a long bath works for some. Dancing and singing can help to release old emotion.

These are all some great ideas for dealing with old emotion, but what about new emotion? The best case scenario is to deal with your emotions and pass them through your body when they happen. Emotions are really guides to give you information. These emotions are meant to be released shortly after we experience them.

When you have an emotion, ask yourself if it is old emotion or a response to something new. Gather the information you need, and then the process can be very similar, but should be much easier. Name the feeling. Try to not wrap a story around the feeling. This can just keep it stuck in your head and impede the releasing of the emotion. Breathe through the feeling. Thank the feeling for any information you received and move on. Actual movement is good here. Now, if it keeps returning to your thoughts, just thank it, breathe and let it go. If you have to do this a few times, so be it. Remember don’t make up stories. The stories we tell at this time are usually not even true and this keeps them stuck.

This is good work to do. Your life will go much better if you don’t get hijacked by your emotions. Emotional intelligence is a real thing and we could all use a bit more.

Remember, get help if you need.

Love,

Aunt B

If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@forneymessenger.com.