Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B Readers,

First of all, I need to apologize for the lack of any article last week. I take my commitments very seriously and I failed. I completely forgot to send in my column. I apologize to you and all the Messenger staff and owners. The Messenger puts up with me for running late and helps to proof read my column, both of which I appreciate beyond words. I am thankful that we have a newspaper that goes far and above to bring us the positive things that are happening around us. I would appreciate it if you and the Messenger would forgive me. I commit to getting my column in on time in the future.

You may not have missed me but I hope that you did.

When I realized what I had done, I was so disappointed in myself. I share that with you not to beat myself up but to acknowledge that I made a mistake and just like you I don’t like making mistakes. Beating myself up will not fix this mistake. It will not increase the chances of my behavior improving. The ugly voice inside my head will not improve me in any way. So what to do?

The important thing is to recognize them and take responsibility and make a new commitment to not do that again. It is easy to look for excuses. There are always excuses but that doesn’t work. There are always explanations for things but that alone doesn’t fix or begin the repairing of the damage. Oftentimes, the excuses don’t even need to be shared. There are mixed messages deep within the excuses that give the wrong message. For instance, take something as simple as being late for a meeting. Explaining that your alarm clock didn’t go off, that there was a lot of traffic, or that you ran out of gas may explain why you are late. However it falls short because it is all just an excuse. It says to you and to others that are watching your behavior that they can’t completely trust you.

You can reclaim your responsibility for what you do or don’t do immediately. Begin by taking extreme personal responsibility.

You are responsible for all that you do.

You are responsible for all that you do not do.

You are responsible for how you respond to all that happens.

Now that that is taken care of, forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. We are after all human and mistakes come with the territory. Recognizing my strengths, not my weaknesses, will help me improve.

I challenge all of you to take responsibility for any of your mistakes, ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself, make amends, and commit to better behavior. I know that I am.

Much Love,

Aunt B

If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@forneymessenger.com.