Ah, NYE in 2020, what a conundrum. The memes are everywhere. Will 2021 be a double dumpster fire? Will it be a little kinder and a tidbit gentler on us? What about you guys? Any NYE plans? Are you from the stay at home every year camp, the stay at home this year camp, or the business as usual camp? We rarely venture out on New Year’s Eve. Neither my husband nor I are what you call people persons. We’d much rather doze off on the couch together watching Ryan Seacrest in Times Square and spouting theories as to how those people could’ve gotten on that front row at 8 am and still be standing there without bathroom breaks. I’m sure the square will be empty this year, but I’ll start the black eyed peas and make the cornbread from scratch. Joanna Gaines has a recipe I saw that incorporates cheese and jalapenos. We’ll have adult beverages on hand and we’ll forget to imbibe. I’ll wax poetically about my grand 2021 plans and how I intend to change every single detail about myself. Wait. Scratch that. Let’s talk about how my 2021 is going to be different – like, really drastically different. After all, it’s the year of the Ox.
According to the Chinese calendar, 2021 (the part that occurs after Feb 12th, anyway) is the year of the Metal Ox, the 2nd position in the Chinese Zodiac. While these symbols apply to people born in those years, I thought we could consider 2021 an actual person to see what we’ll be dealing with. The Ox is known for its honest nature. This is promising. 2020 was the year of the Rat and we see how that turned out. We could all use some honesty. The Ox is diligent, dependable, strong, and determined. In woman form, an OX is traditional and faithful, placing importance on knowledge and education. In male form, the Ox is known for patriotism, grand ambitions, and great love for both work and family. They pride th e m - selves on detailed plans with precise steps. They strive for strength in faith and strength in body. But, alas, the Ox has weak points, too. Communication skills are known to be lacking. There is often no willingness to share ideas. Stubbornness and reclusiveness is a hallmark. Still, if 2020 teed up the ball for us, don’t we need an Ox to hit the green? We’ve come so far with this war. We’ve challenged every belief we’ve ever been taught. There have been realizations in equality, realizations in gender ideals, realizations in racism. We could make that bed back up like a lazy teenager, leaving the sheet crumpled at the bottom and a dirty pair of socks in the middle while we try and pretend we don’t see the wrinkles on the hastily spread comforter. Or, like an Ox, we can throw it all out and build a beautiful canopy bed out of the finest walnut, with sheets of Egyptian cotton and a velvet quilt.
Resolutions are great thoughts laced with the stench of known future failures and seasoned with angst and a sprinkling of fear. I’ve failed to lose that 15 pounds for as many years, yet I think I should sit there straight faced and tell everyone I can really do it this time. A thought punctuated with a period should not roll from the lips sounding like a question. This is the pressure of resolutions: too grand and too final and too rooted in perfectionism. What if we focused New Year’s goals on things to improve us rather than drown us? If 2020 taught me anything, it was that we are responsible for us. Whatever good happens in this world, it comes from one person doing one good and very contagious thing. We no longer have the luxury of waiting on a group or a community or a government entity to spearhead a movement. I alone must come through and find the strength of 10 Grinches, plus 2. And, then in Whoville, so they say, my heart could grow 3 sizes one day. Seussisms aside, I just need to find my inner OX. So do you.
For 2021, I wish us peace: peace of mind in a turbulent world that looks like it is picking up steam rather than settling down, peace of health in a system that is heck bent on costing us precious time and our life savings to maintain our well-being, peace of ambition in a society that says you’re not worthy unless you’re impossibly financed and living above your means, and peace of breath in a universe that keeps us in constant hyperventilation mode when we should be breathing deeply. I am not there yet. But, like an Ox, I will keep moving forward. I will work on that reclusiveness and that stubborn nature, taking patriotism and love of family and fighting to put out the ever burning dumpster fire. We’ll take a cup of kindness yet, for days of auld lang syne.
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