Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B Readers,

Week two of “should I return to making New Year’s resolutions” here we come. Now is as good a time as any to set new resolutions. Well, not all agree with me. Tony Robbins says not to make new year’s resolutions. I think we are talking about semantics more than anything. One definition of resolution is “a firm decision to do or not to do something”. If that is what you are referring to, then I totally agree with Tony. Thank goodness. Resolve fails and fails pretty quickly. So I agree the word goal is a much better alternative.

Are your New Year’s resolutions always the same? Well, if you’re like me, the answer is pretty much, yes. Lose weight; make more money; live in the present moment; become more organized; and last but not least kick the snooze alarm to the curb. If they are the same as last year or the last few years, then something new is in order, if you are serious at all.

Tony Robbins’ advice to making more lasting change is:

Decide and commit to making a change.

Document on what you want.

Get clear on the why.

Find absolute certainty.

Measure your progress.

Keep going.

It is clear, setting goals you don’t have any intention of completing is kinda nuts. Setting goals that you don’t believe you can accomplish or believe you will accomplish is also kinda nuts. So how might you make this process different? There will be obstacles in your way for sure, so I believe you should plan for them and get help along the way. Do you do your work better as a team? If so, then find someone and take this journey together. If you do your best work alone, how will you motivate yourself? Motivate is a tricky word as well. It is defined as “to stimulate interest or enthusiasm in doing something”. There will be times on this journey, when you will not have interest or enthusiasm in doing what needs to be done. Plan for those times,. What will you do when you choose not to stimulate the interest?

Some pitfalls to accomplishing your goals/resolutions are:

Not realistic.

Too vague.

They are actually someone else’s goal for you.

They are negative goals.

You have given them too little thought.

You are not serious.

You have no expectation of completing them.

They are not measurable.

So falling right along with Tony Robbins advice and attacking these pitfalls:

Be realistic but don’t be afraid to set big ones that make you stretch.

Get clear. Define the expectation. Measure your progress.

Make sure this is something you want.

Turn it around to something positive and have some fun with them.

If you aren’t serious and you haven’t explored why you even want to accomplish them, then just forget about it.

Develop new beliefs. You are capable. You can accomplish whatever you want. Get comfortable with the new you, the one that you want to become.

Love,

Aunt B

If you would like to send Aunt B a question please email your question to news@forneymessenger.com.