Ask Aunt B

Dear Aunt B,

What’s your take on New Year’s resolutions? I used to make them and haven’t for a long time. I am thinking of trying again.

Just want to be better

Dear Just want to be better,

Me too. I always want to be better and you know a little secret, we probably are better. We are in such a habit of judging ourselves from the perspective of what we believe is our perfect self, that we don’t give ourself credit for all the progress we have made.

So let’s start by just accepting and loving yourself for how far you have come and all that you are and about your progress in this grand life.

So now, New Years is upon us. What to do? I always like a life review. Anytime is a good time. In lots of ways New Years seems like a perfect time. I think that is why so many people try to make changes this time of year. There can be a lot of expectations around New year’s resolutions. Most of the expectations that I see are expectations of failure. So if that is the vein that you are thinking then I don’t think it is a great time of year for this process.

Is there a chance that it is the processes we have used and not the goals or desires that have failed us in the past? We have 3 weeks left before the end of the year. Over the next 3 weeks we will explore some different ideas on the processes of examining our life and making the changes we desire.

So to prepare, start by looking over this past year. I understand everyone is all abuzz with how bad 2020 has been, and I do understand there have been many challenges. but for this process let’s try to look deeper within our own life. What has worked for you in this past year and what hasn’t? Stay focused on this past year. Do not make a list of everything that has never worked throughout your entire life. That is totally another thing. I call that a process of beating you up. If you haven’t heard me say this yet, then you are new to Aunt B, very new. YOU WILL NEVER GET BETTER BY BEATING YOURSELF UP. It just doesn’t work.

The second thing I would like you to start is a list of what you want. What would you like to show up in your life in 2021. Again, go as deep into your own life as you are willing to do. This is not about anyone else’s life. This is you, all you.

Start exploring my friend. What exactly do you want?

Love,

Aunt B

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