A Final Act of Love: My mom and dad were not wealthy by any means but we always had a roof and the only time I ever remember going hungry was just for the better part of one day, but that is another story.
Though my mom and dad had little, they were both generous with their time taking us camping, fishing and hunting. Our childhood was an adventure. If they had anything and someone else was in need they would help, with groceries, a place to stay, a tank of gas, a ride, whatever someone needed.
They were both born during the Great Depression and grew up having to get by with very little. Mom told of playing cars with her siblings with old brown square snuff bottles. Dad told stories of sitting just behind the outfield fence with of the minor league baseball field in Bridgeport, Connecticut with his friends to watch baseball games for free. When I was a kid, we had practically nothing but we were happy. Dad would work two jobs to make ends meet but the times I liked best were when he was laid off from work, because during those times I got to spend more time with my dad.
Later in life, about the time I went off to college, they got their feet under them a little better, financially. Dad loved tools for both work and pleasure. Power tools, hand tools, camping gear, hunting and fishing gear. Dad collected a lot of stuff.
Mom loved to make beaded jewelry, mostly to give away. There were a lot of things she only took up for a short while: knitting, needlepoint, horticulture etc. They both loved to give things to people, especially their four sons, but most things they kept….and kept and kept and kept.
Four years ago, last month, mom died. The old house in Floresville, south of San Antonio, was in bad shape. The floor was bad and the foundation needed a lot of work. To fix it we would have had to move all of the stuff out of the house and it was clear that getting rid of a lot of mom’s stuff was going to be too emotional for dad. Putting stuff in storage would have been monumental anyway. They already had a garage, four storage buildings and a greenhouse all loaded with random, disorganized stuff. My brother Ron solved the problem, for the time being, by building dad and my two brothers a new house behind the old one. One of our brothers who lived with dad is a disabled veteran and one is mentally challenged. When the new house was done, the three of them simply moved the stuff they needed to the new house with new appliances and most of the stuff they really didn’t need stayed in the old house.
Then last December Dad died. Lori and I tried to start clearing stuff out, knowing there is no good time to “rip off the band-aid” but my brothers resisted saying it was too soon. A month ago, I tried again but was met with more than a little resistance from one of my brothers.
Finally, my brother Ron, who is the executor and our youngest brother’s legal guardian, began a drastic solution. He found a 3000 square foot house on five and a half acres in Kerrville, Texas and made an offer which was accepted, but the deal hasn’t closed yet. However, he already has four houses in Leon Springs, so the idea is to move our two brothers out of Floresville completely, even if he has to move them into one of his houses north of San Antonio.
With a move imminent, though not certain, Lori and I headed to Floresville for a weekend of hard work, mentally, physically and emotionally for all of us. We were joined by my niece Sherri and my great nephew Joseph and a few friends. Over the weekend we got the entire house cleaned out, overgrown shrubs around the house cut down, a shed cleared out and given away and the greenhouse and another shed half-way cleaned out. We filled up boxes and bags with stuff that had value including countless things that had never been opened.
We filled up a huge rolloff dumpster and a box truck from Arms of Hope Children’s Home which operates homes in Medina, Texas and in Hunt County.
Despite all of the hard work I have to say that a big part of me enjoyed finding old memories and spending time with my parents. But the job could have been made a lot easier.
I’ll leave this story with a word of advice, and I’m taking it to heart myself. Don’t make your kids and grand kids sort through a lifetime of stuff for family keepsakes hidden among junk and clutter. If you have a house full of stuff, a garage, four sheds, and a greenhouse, you have too much stuff. If you don’t use it, neither will your kids. They’ll just give it all to charity or throw it in a dumpster, even some of your most prized possessions will have little value to your kids and grand kids. Have a really big garage sale or five and take a nice vacation for yourself with the money.
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