I’m known as the crazy woman who, every October, makes children out of kitchen trash bags and displays them in her yard. I own it. They are my little ghost girls. I created a whole backstory about them. They came from a turn of the century orphanage. They were cursed or neglected or otherwise injured and now haunt us every Halloween from my front lawn. I position their little rebar bodies in a circle & tie their plastic arms in knots so they can hold hands. Some have hoods. One has pigtails, all white on white on white. I gave all 5 of them names: Esmerelda, Agatha, Elspeth, Salome, & Joan. In the center of their ghoulish circle, I hide Christmas tree lights under a stack of fireplace logs. At night they literally glow. When I add the creepy music where the children are chanting “ring around the rosie” it’s seriously unsettling. I love it. It’s my element. I am a Halloween junkie. But, alas, it’s an unrequited love.
Dressing up for Halloween is the highlight of my year! It’s tricky, though. One stroll through a Spirit Halloween store and a certain theme is obvious. You can’t be a nurse if you get your costume there. You have to be a slutty nurse. No? Ok, well, how about a slutty vampire? Still no? How about a slutty pirate? Slutty police officer? You see my dilemma. I’m 52. I lost my slutty certification back in the late 80’s. Who wants to demean the spirit of All Hallows’ Eve with a bunch of risqué outfits, anyway? So, I stick to the tried and true brunette costume trifecta – Morticia Addams, Frida Kahlo, or Cleopatra. Even though our Halloween costume party invites have all dried up, like the breath of the crypt keeper, I continue to dress up, you know, for the kids. I’ve been known to sit on the porch in my Morticia get up, crying hysterically, and asking the approaching children to please help me with my baby. As they reach out to see the bundle of blanketed joy I’m holding in my arms, the baby’s head manages to fall off and roll across the porch as I end my performance with a maniacal laugh that Margaret Hamilton herself would appreciate. I’ll get you Halloween, and your little dog, too.
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