Dear Aunt B,
I want to create more joy in my life. What are your favorite ways to bring in joy?
In Search
Dear In Search, I’m already beaming just thinking about your heart behind this question. Wanting more joy in your life isn’t selfish; it’s sacred. It’s an act of resistance in a world that often tries to convince us that stress and hustle are the only measures of success. So let’s pause and throw that whole notion in the trash, shall we? Because, you deserve joy. Not just on holidays. Not just when everything’s perfect. Every day. Right here. Right now.
And since you asked what my favorite ways are to bring more joy, well, you better believe I’ve got a list. Some are silly, some are soulful, and all of them are doable.
Big milestones are lovely, but life is mostly made up of small victories. I once celebrated folding all my laundry in one day like I’d won an Olympic medal. Why? Because it feels good, and joy shows up when we give ourselves permission to cheer for the small stuff.
Try this: keep a “tiny win” journal. Each day, write down one little thing you’re proud of. Brushed your teeth before bed? That counts. Said no when you wanted to say no? Absolutely. Watch the joy compound.
This doesn’t have to mean sunriseyogaorgreensmoothies (unless that’s your thing). For me, it’s about starting the day with intention, not urgency. Light a candle, sip your coffee slowly, read one poem, play a song that makes you want to dance while brushing your teeth. Something that reminds you: this day belongs to me too.
Even five quiet minutes before the world rushes in can change your whole mindset. Here’s one of my best-kept secrets: rituals = joy in disguise. The way you make your tea. The walk around the block after dinner. A certain blanket you wrap yourself in when it’s time to rest. These aren’t just routines. They’re grounding rituals that can become sacred bookmarks in your day.
I have a candle I only light when I write to you all. That little flame flickers and says, “Okay, Aunt B, it’s time to connect.” That’s joy. And a bit of magic.
You want a fast track to joy? Start noticing the good in others, and say it out loud. Tell the barista her earrings are fabulous. Compliment a stranger’s laugh. Let your friend know that the way they handled that hard conversation inspired you.
Kindness is a boomerang. The more you throw it out there, the more it circles back around.
Create your own collection of happy little somethings. Call it your Joy Survival Kit. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Mine has silly things: essential oils, a tiny book of poetry, and a ridiculous photo of me and my best friend being silly. When I’m feeling heavy, I reach into that drawer like it’s a lifeline. Because sometimes joy is found in a peppermint lip balm or a note from someone who loves you.
Laugh as much as you can. I mean real, belly-shaking, tears-in-your-eyes kind of laughter. Watch that comedian who makes you wheeze. Rewatch a scene from your favorite sitcom. Call that one friend who’s always got a story that starts with “You’ll never believe what just happened.”
And if you need a suggestion, look up Nate Bargatze. That man’s storytelling is medicine.
Move your body in a way that feels like play. Notice I didn’t say “exercise.” I said play. Because dancing in your kitchen to 80s music totally counts. So does hula-hooping, skipping, or doing an interpretive dance about how you feel on laundry day. Movement shifts energy, and when you do it with joy in mind, not obligation, it can be downright liberating.
Say “yes” to what delights you and “no” to what drains you. Joy and boundaries go hand in hand. Say no to that third obligation of the day if it’s making you resentful. Say yes to that quiet hour reading on the porch, even if your todo list is grumbling.
You deserve joy that isn’t earned, justified, or delayed.
Joy lives in the act of creating, painting, writing, planting herbs, building Lego castles, singing off-key in your car. It doesn’t have to be “good.” It just has to be yours.
The act of creating puts you in the present moment, where joy likes to hang out. Look for joy. Joy is often tucked inside the things we overlook: the way the light hits your kitchen counter, the smell of rain on the sidewalk, the feeling of warm socks after a long day. Slow down enough to notice.
So here’s your assignment: pick one. Just one. Try it today. And then another tomorrow. Before you know it, your life will feel less like a chore and more like a celebration.
Love, Aunt B
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