The Shiny Things
Oh, Give Me a Home Where the Buffalo Roam
I’m an eccentric person. My life is full of zany characters, mostly relatives, who provide me with several lifetimes of cuckoo anecdotes and mostly legal shenanigans. I like telling these redneck Lake Wobegon tales to anyone who’ll listen. My friends think I should have my own Podcast. Supposedly, an evening with me and 2 adult beverages leaves people in stitches (the laughing kind, not the ER visit kind). But, it’s the second thing they always say about me that we’re focusing on today. I’m exceptionally thrifty. Some would say I’m a cheapskate. Some would call me frugal. Most just acknowledge me as Ted’s daughter as that phrase uses the least words and requires zero explanation.
Daddy’s frugality is known far and wide. I’ve told you about some of his antics, like the time he purchased an old church on Buckner Blvd. for pennies on the dollar. It was going to be demolished to make room for a franchise restaurant unless someone “saved” it. Ted to the rescue. He had it moved in 3 pieces from East Dallas to an unincorporated tract of acres in Kaufman County, where he painstakingly put it back together, sans the stained glass windows. Similarly, he dug our 40 ft well by hand with his own pulley system. Tednology at its best. He’s also infamous for his trips to the dump (7 gallons of unopened Cavalier Red paint later, our house looked like the prom scene in Carrie). And, even in retirement, while acting as caretaker for his buddy’s local car wash, he was known to sift through the contents of both the dumpster and the vacuums, heralding quite the collection of “gently” used sunglasses. Some were men’s. Most were women’s. It was the 80’s. He drove around town in a pair with gold initials etched into the bottom left hand corner for months. I don’t know who E. A. was, but her ombre brown glasses with the oversized octagon shaped tented lenses made my father very happy. All of these incidents pale in comparison with the great baby blue buffalo check debacle of the 70s.
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